Mad Magazine(s)

So I would be remiss if I didn't comment on the current state of magazines today. Can someone please tell me 'What’s going on?'

For starters, why is Paris Hilton on the cover of Vanity Fair? I am surprised that they have sunk so low as to put that media whore on the cover, topless to boot! She is ugly and an ugly human being. What is she famous for again? I would like to send an open letter to my friends at Vanity Fair (and you know who you are):

Dear Editors,

What are you thinking? Why downgrade yourself like this?

Best wishes,
Pablo

Now onto Mrs. Britney Spears Federline, why on earth is she on the cover of Elle?
A) The outfit is ridiculous
B) What is up with her hair? It's a wig right?
I mean Elle is a leading fashion/beauty magazine, why on earth would they think that she was a good fit for the cover? She looks all kinds of crazy. Perhaps the masses will buy this issue. I'll report back on the newsstand sales once they become available.

Last but not least. I have officially decided to cancel my subscription to Out magazine. This is partly because they didn't hire me for a PR position (yes I am bitter, but the Dir. of Marketing was an Ass - his loss really). My second reason is because I am tired of seeing straight people on the cover. I love my straight friends – a big shout out to the straights. I know it is really the entertainment industry's fault for casting straight people in gay rolls. So I understand why they make the cover, but could the editors please try a little harder to put interesting queers on the cover.