And The Award Goes To...

I like to think that I star in this really great production called Life. It is a typical story about a man seeking his destiny in a big city. The story has been told before, but my performance is what has made it a "Must See” and “One To Watch”. It is one part drama and one part comedy. It is presented in multi-media format, in high definition with technicolor and surround sound.

For as long as I can remember I have been "acting". I pretend that I care about work, relationships, sex, people, etc... My performance has always been award worthy. But lately, I have gone from an Oscar nomination to a Golden Globe nomination to a Daytime Emmy nomination...and now I fear that I am possibly heading toward a nomination for the worst award of all a Razzie.

Being nominated is nice, but as good of an actor that I’ve been -- I've never won (in life). I am no better of than Susan Lucci (whose luck finally changed in 1999) .

But now I am at a point where I just can't fake it anymore.

News Flash: I’ve never really fucking cared! I've had everyone so fooled all this time, but now I feel that the real me is shinning though loud and clear.

I am left at a point where I must ask myself what to do. Do I take a few refresher classes to get my chops back up to where they once were or do I simply embrace the change and live life with out the front.

Fortunately, Reality TV is big -- everybody loves to watch a train wreck (myself included). Well look over here world -- I am in my own Amazing Race and hope to be a Survivor. I’ve attempted to be an Apprentice to my Big Brother, when really all I want is to be Starting Over, perhaps cause I never had A Super Sweet Sixteen. I think I've been Punk'd cause no one ever came to Pimp My Ride (I really do miss my car Bessie – may she rest peacefully in car Heaven). My life needs an Extreme Make Over (life addition). Would life have been different if I was the American Idol or America's Next Top Model?