The Great American TV Talk Show
I am sitting here watching Larry King Live on CNN. Tonight’s guest is Kathy Griffin. I will admit I really enjoy her comedy, she is one funny lady.
I don’t think it is any secret that I want to be famous. Mostly, because I want free shit and secondly because I really want to be on programs like Larry King, Ellen and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
When I first moved to NYC, I dreamed about being on The Rosie O’Donnell Show. But then she up and quit the show before I became famous (damn her!) And that Caroline Ray didn’t make a good replacement. But it seems I’ll have one more chance now that she is joining the ladies of The View.
Currently, I have my sights on Ms. Tyra Banks and Megan Mullally’s new show.
So how do I become famous? What’s my special talent?
I used to think that I was going to be a famous Broadway star – that didn’t work out because I don’t like the life of the staving artist.
Next, I thought I was going to be a Pop Star. And you guessed it, that didn’t work out either – my producer was unable to secure new music for me to record because I wasn’t signed, but I couldn’t get signed without a demo of new music. What a vicious circle.
But honestly, I’ve already had my 45 minutes of fame – that’s three 15 minute installments of temporary fame.
My first brush with fame came in 1998. I was an extra in the movie Mickey Blue Eyes staring Hugh Grant. I can be seen walking down the street in the final scene, which we shot in Central Park. I was in Charleston, SC when the movie came out. My friend and I went to see the very long, but funny movie. As I said I don’t appear until the very final scene. On the big screen I was larger than life…when my friend saw me, she screamed, “Oh my god, there you are!” Of course, everyone in the theater turned around and wondered what all the commotion was about.
The next moment came in the summer of 2001. I made an appearance on The Ricki Lake Show. Now I was not on an episode called “That Tranny is My Baby Daddy!” Actually, I was featured as one of the choreographers for Ricki’s Pop Star Boot Camp. You might think no one respectable watched that show, but everyone I knew saw the episode. Messages on my answering machine went something like this: “Um, Pablo, I was on the treadmill at the gym tonight, and I think I saw you on Ricki Lake…was that you?”
My final moment of fame came when I worked as the Publicist/Spokesperson for a nationally recognized entertainment attraction located in the heart of Times Square. I made appearances on local news stations and on a few nationally syndicated entertainment programs. My favorite appearance was on Access Hollywood. Once when I went to get my car fixed by my local Pakistani mechanic, Rocky, he told me that he saw me on the show and asked, “So if your famous, why do you still drive this piece of crap car?” He was referring to my 1988 Dodge Omni, which he had pretty much rebuilt over the years. I had to tell him that I just got to talk about famous people, and that I wasn’t famous myself…not yet at least.
I don’t think it is any secret that I want to be famous. Mostly, because I want free shit and secondly because I really want to be on programs like Larry King, Ellen and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
When I first moved to NYC, I dreamed about being on The Rosie O’Donnell Show. But then she up and quit the show before I became famous (damn her!) And that Caroline Ray didn’t make a good replacement. But it seems I’ll have one more chance now that she is joining the ladies of The View.
Currently, I have my sights on Ms. Tyra Banks and Megan Mullally’s new show.
So how do I become famous? What’s my special talent?
I used to think that I was going to be a famous Broadway star – that didn’t work out because I don’t like the life of the staving artist.
Next, I thought I was going to be a Pop Star. And you guessed it, that didn’t work out either – my producer was unable to secure new music for me to record because I wasn’t signed, but I couldn’t get signed without a demo of new music. What a vicious circle.
But honestly, I’ve already had my 45 minutes of fame – that’s three 15 minute installments of temporary fame.
My first brush with fame came in 1998. I was an extra in the movie Mickey Blue Eyes staring Hugh Grant. I can be seen walking down the street in the final scene, which we shot in Central Park. I was in Charleston, SC when the movie came out. My friend and I went to see the very long, but funny movie. As I said I don’t appear until the very final scene. On the big screen I was larger than life…when my friend saw me, she screamed, “Oh my god, there you are!” Of course, everyone in the theater turned around and wondered what all the commotion was about.
The next moment came in the summer of 2001. I made an appearance on The Ricki Lake Show. Now I was not on an episode called “That Tranny is My Baby Daddy!” Actually, I was featured as one of the choreographers for Ricki’s Pop Star Boot Camp. You might think no one respectable watched that show, but everyone I knew saw the episode. Messages on my answering machine went something like this: “Um, Pablo, I was on the treadmill at the gym tonight, and I think I saw you on Ricki Lake…was that you?”
My final moment of fame came when I worked as the Publicist/Spokesperson for a nationally recognized entertainment attraction located in the heart of Times Square. I made appearances on local news stations and on a few nationally syndicated entertainment programs. My favorite appearance was on Access Hollywood. Once when I went to get my car fixed by my local Pakistani mechanic, Rocky, he told me that he saw me on the show and asked, “So if your famous, why do you still drive this piece of crap car?” He was referring to my 1988 Dodge Omni, which he had pretty much rebuilt over the years. I had to tell him that I just got to talk about famous people, and that I wasn’t famous myself…not yet at least.
posted by Pablo Perez at 1:33 AM
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