Dating Karma 101
I don’t know what it was, but two weeks back I was a Man Magnet. Seriously, these hot guys were coming up to me on the street and asking for my number. I am not being self-depreciating here (for once), but honestly hot guys just don’t throw themselves at me like that. The scene of two of the crimes was 7th Avenue in Chelsea, another was on the dance floor at the Roxy and the last was at a stoplight on 10th Avenue and 28th Street.
The first guy from 7th Avenue, “Puerto Rican”, called the very next day. We had a brief conversation. Then he was blunt and asked the all important question…Top or Bottom? We’re both tops…needless to say, he hasn’t called again.
“Roxy” sent me a text message the same night we met. He was all sappy about meeting me and how he would have pleasant dreams, dreaming of my kisses. I agreed to see him again. We went to dinner and a play and then on another date - a walk in central park and a nice dinner. Shortly there after, a college friend of his came into town, he desperately wanted me to meet her... we’ve been on two dates…and he’s already picking out the china pattern. Red flag!
“Stoplight” and I went one our first date, the same night we met. We had a lovely dinner where we talked about life and the artistic process. We made plans to go see an art exhibit together, but he flaked out and didn’t call me until 2pm the day of our plans - ten minutes after I had just made plans with “Roxy” (the central park date). He then said “I’ll call you later and we’ll make plans for tomorrow”. Sunday came and went and no call (surprise, surprise). Two days later a text message arrived: “Opps…I forgot to call you!” – No kidding flakey mc corn flake! We finally met up the following weekend, a nice walk down by the river, dinner and coffee. This “date” lasted 4 hours, but I couldn’t tell if it was a really a date. He wasn’t very touchy feely…so I wasn’t sure if he was into me or not.
I met the second guy from 7th Avenue, “Brazilian”, right after the 4 hour date with “Stoplight”. I was on the phone trying to decide what to do with myself -- go home or go out. On my way down 7th Avenue I passed by “Brazilian”, he smiled and waved, I thought to myself “Do I know him?” I waved back, but I was on my phone making plans so I didn’t stop. After my conversation ended, I turned around and walked passed him a second time. At first I thought it was “Puerto Rican”, but then realized it wasn’t. The guy said he’s seen me around for years, and has always wanted to say hello. Here was this really hot, buff, Brazilian guy saying this too little ole me. So in true NYC style, we ended up at a diner with his friend, then my pal joined us and we all went out to a club. “Brazilian” and I made-out for most of the night, he was very “hands on” and passionate, very different than “Stoplight”, who only a few hours before had me wondering if I was even remotely attractive. “Brazilian” left me with my pal at the club and gave me his number. Now as much as I love a hot Brazilian guy, I don’t do people who are here illegally – so I haven’t called him.
I am now just dealing with “Stoplight”, who was being all kinds of flakey and “Roxy”, who was becoming a bit of a stalker. I had a date Thursday with “Roxy”, we went to a nice little NYC café and had homemade gelato (a place I’d seen featured on a Food Network TV show). It was during this date that I realized I was not interested in going any further with this “relationship” – three dates in is a good amount of time to decide whether someone is either “In or Out” (thank you Heidi Klum). On Friday I went out for coffee with “Stoplight” and after a few cups of coffee we walked around aimlessly in the streets. Neither of us could figure out what to do or where to go. He was tired so we decide to just part ways for the night. His last words were “Would you like to come with me tomorrow night to hang out with some friends?” I said yes, he said “I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know the plans.”
Here is where the lesson in Karma comes into place…Today is Thursday, and I still have not heard from “Stoplight” perhaps he realized after three dates that he didn’t like me either. “Roxy” picked up on my vibe and e-mailed me an interesting note saying “I get the feeling your not interested.” Perhaps it was obvious since I didn’t return an e-mail from yesterday, where he offered to make me dinner at his place. So while I was dumped but the one I was interested in, I was doing the same thing to the other.
Oddly enough my co-worker is actually going through a similar situation right now…she is dating multiple guys, but needs to break it off with two of them as she has fallen hard for one of the guys. I said we should probably send the guys notes along the lines of this:
Dear Guy:
Have you seen Shannen Doherty’s new show on Oxygen - “Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty”? Let’s save ourselves the humiliation. Need I say more?
Best,
Pablo
Ugh…why is dating so hard. And where is my prince charming?
The first guy from 7th Avenue, “Puerto Rican”, called the very next day. We had a brief conversation. Then he was blunt and asked the all important question…Top or Bottom? We’re both tops…needless to say, he hasn’t called again.
“Roxy” sent me a text message the same night we met. He was all sappy about meeting me and how he would have pleasant dreams, dreaming of my kisses. I agreed to see him again. We went to dinner and a play and then on another date - a walk in central park and a nice dinner. Shortly there after, a college friend of his came into town, he desperately wanted me to meet her... we’ve been on two dates…and he’s already picking out the china pattern. Red flag!
“Stoplight” and I went one our first date, the same night we met. We had a lovely dinner where we talked about life and the artistic process. We made plans to go see an art exhibit together, but he flaked out and didn’t call me until 2pm the day of our plans - ten minutes after I had just made plans with “Roxy” (the central park date). He then said “I’ll call you later and we’ll make plans for tomorrow”. Sunday came and went and no call (surprise, surprise). Two days later a text message arrived: “Opps…I forgot to call you!” – No kidding flakey mc corn flake! We finally met up the following weekend, a nice walk down by the river, dinner and coffee. This “date” lasted 4 hours, but I couldn’t tell if it was a really a date. He wasn’t very touchy feely…so I wasn’t sure if he was into me or not.
I met the second guy from 7th Avenue, “Brazilian”, right after the 4 hour date with “Stoplight”. I was on the phone trying to decide what to do with myself -- go home or go out. On my way down 7th Avenue I passed by “Brazilian”, he smiled and waved, I thought to myself “Do I know him?” I waved back, but I was on my phone making plans so I didn’t stop. After my conversation ended, I turned around and walked passed him a second time. At first I thought it was “Puerto Rican”, but then realized it wasn’t. The guy said he’s seen me around for years, and has always wanted to say hello. Here was this really hot, buff, Brazilian guy saying this too little ole me. So in true NYC style, we ended up at a diner with his friend, then my pal joined us and we all went out to a club. “Brazilian” and I made-out for most of the night, he was very “hands on” and passionate, very different than “Stoplight”, who only a few hours before had me wondering if I was even remotely attractive. “Brazilian” left me with my pal at the club and gave me his number. Now as much as I love a hot Brazilian guy, I don’t do people who are here illegally – so I haven’t called him.
I am now just dealing with “Stoplight”, who was being all kinds of flakey and “Roxy”, who was becoming a bit of a stalker. I had a date Thursday with “Roxy”, we went to a nice little NYC café and had homemade gelato (a place I’d seen featured on a Food Network TV show). It was during this date that I realized I was not interested in going any further with this “relationship” – three dates in is a good amount of time to decide whether someone is either “In or Out” (thank you Heidi Klum). On Friday I went out for coffee with “Stoplight” and after a few cups of coffee we walked around aimlessly in the streets. Neither of us could figure out what to do or where to go. He was tired so we decide to just part ways for the night. His last words were “Would you like to come with me tomorrow night to hang out with some friends?” I said yes, he said “I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know the plans.”
Here is where the lesson in Karma comes into place…Today is Thursday, and I still have not heard from “Stoplight” perhaps he realized after three dates that he didn’t like me either. “Roxy” picked up on my vibe and e-mailed me an interesting note saying “I get the feeling your not interested.” Perhaps it was obvious since I didn’t return an e-mail from yesterday, where he offered to make me dinner at his place. So while I was dumped but the one I was interested in, I was doing the same thing to the other.
Oddly enough my co-worker is actually going through a similar situation right now…she is dating multiple guys, but needs to break it off with two of them as she has fallen hard for one of the guys. I said we should probably send the guys notes along the lines of this:
Dear Guy:
Have you seen Shannen Doherty’s new show on Oxygen - “Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty”? Let’s save ourselves the humiliation. Need I say more?
Best,
Pablo
Ugh…why is dating so hard. And where is my prince charming?
posted by Pablo Perez at 7:55 PM
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