I'm on a Man-Hunt...
So as usual it has been ages since I wrote, and mostly this is due to my starting a new job. I won’t bore you with the details of my work endeavors, but I will say one thing – watch what you wish for!
I prefer to fill this space with funny stories, based 100% in truth. Seriously my life is often better than a sitcom, or rather is should be a sitcom. (Cue the laugh track…lol)
As you know, I’ve been very single for about a year and half now, and so I’ve been searching high and low for a new man. This little tale is about one of the low moments.
While most heterosexuals are finding love online at sites such as Match.com, the homosexuals are trolling around the internet on a site called Manhunt.net. Every-man who logs onto the site knows that is about getting-off not making match. More Mr. Right now, less Mr. Right. You get the idea.
Two Friday’s ago, I was home after a hellish week at the office. I was sitting in front of the television watching Ghost Whisperer and Las Vegas. I was bored, and alright I’ll admit it, I was horny. Honestly, I’ve never had much luck with internet dating or internet hook-ups. So I don’t know why I thought this night would be any different.
Just as in real life, the men I find attractive don’t feel the same about me. And the guys who do send me e-mails or IMs all describe themselves as Average, and are usually under 5’8”. The few times I have hooked up online, have been either really bad, or just ok. I certainly haven’t met any amazingly hot guys or men that I want to pursue a LTR with.
It was about 11pm, when the message came into my Inbox…You’ve got Male!
His screen name was “Cheers”…a funny reference to his nationality, he was British. He thought I was attractive, and wanted to know what I was looking for. I looked at the tiny thumbnail photos posted with his profile – oh did I mention that this is a pay site, you can subscribe to the site and get full access to larger photos, and unlimited e-mails, etc…But I am cheap, and frankly don’t really think I should “Pay” for sex…so I’ve never subscribed.
I liked what I saw…which really wasn’t much. Anyways, I sent “Cheers” an instant message. We began to chat…the chatting went on for about an hour. We covered all the basics: What are you into? Top or Bottom? Where do you live? Etc…
“Cheers” lived on the Upper Eastside, so there was no way at this late hour that I was going anywhere. Now this is where it all gets fuzzy…it was late after-all. We somehow got on the topic of jobs. I offered up that I worked in television, but he refused to tell me what he did. He was afraid that I would laugh. So of course I asked…are you a hairdresser or florist? I was right, he was a hairdresser. Well not just a regular hairdresser, he did celebs at photo shoots and for special events. Oh and then get this he says turn on TLC…so I change the channel and well there he was. Right there, in my living room on my television screen. He was the hairstylist on this new make-over show.
Now this is where it gets all sitcom like. Not only is it ironic that the guy I am cyber-sexing with online is on TV, he is making over a woman who I know – one of my back-up singers from the single I recorded years ago. Small world or what? Well the laughs didn’t stop there. Now that I had a full name, I started searching for him online – I love Google and Yahoo. It turns out, in a past life he was also a fitness instructor for the same gym that I was an instructor for. We knew all the same people…so why had our paths never crossed?
At this point I was ready for bed. And so we decided that perhaps we should meet for coffee the next day. So I asked for his number. He gave it to me, and so I called, just to make sure it was really his number. It was!
So now it was 4am and I was on the line with my handsome Brit. I am a sucker for a British accent, I mean a Brit could tell me to Fuck Off and Die, and as long as the accent was present, I’d just roll over and die…
We talked like two school girls on the phone until 6am. Neither of us wanted to get off the phone first (are you about to vomit?) Finally, we got off the phone. We left it that we would get together the next day for coffee at around 6pm.
Flash forward to Saturday afternoon. I get a call from him and unfortunately he had to schedule a client at 6pm. So our coffee would have to be postponed till the next day as I was going to a party with some friends at 8pm and there wouldn’t be enough time. He suggested we do dinner. I thought what a splendid idea.
I sent him a text message later that night saying I was headed home, because I was tired from being on the phone late with him the night before. And that I was looking forward to dinner the next night.
Sunday morning I wake up and head for the laundry mat, and then later off to the gym. It is now 2pm and no word from my internet lover. I decided to call him, just to reconfirm our date. I get his voicemail, so I leave a message saying I was looking forward to our date later in the evening.
It’s now 6pm and I pretty much figure I am being stood up. I am kind of baffled, what did I do? Did I come on too strong? And then it hits me, we met on Manhut, he wasn’t looking for a boyfriends he was looking to get laid!
Two days later I logged back onto Manhunt, mostly out of morbid curiosity, and found that his profile had been deleted. Only in New York Kids Only in New York!
I prefer to fill this space with funny stories, based 100% in truth. Seriously my life is often better than a sitcom, or rather is should be a sitcom. (Cue the laugh track…lol)
As you know, I’ve been very single for about a year and half now, and so I’ve been searching high and low for a new man. This little tale is about one of the low moments.
While most heterosexuals are finding love online at sites such as Match.com, the homosexuals are trolling around the internet on a site called Manhunt.net. Every-man who logs onto the site knows that is about getting-off not making match. More Mr. Right now, less Mr. Right. You get the idea.
Two Friday’s ago, I was home after a hellish week at the office. I was sitting in front of the television watching Ghost Whisperer and Las Vegas. I was bored, and alright I’ll admit it, I was horny. Honestly, I’ve never had much luck with internet dating or internet hook-ups. So I don’t know why I thought this night would be any different.
Just as in real life, the men I find attractive don’t feel the same about me. And the guys who do send me e-mails or IMs all describe themselves as Average, and are usually under 5’8”. The few times I have hooked up online, have been either really bad, or just ok. I certainly haven’t met any amazingly hot guys or men that I want to pursue a LTR with.
It was about 11pm, when the message came into my Inbox…You’ve got Male!
His screen name was “Cheers”…a funny reference to his nationality, he was British. He thought I was attractive, and wanted to know what I was looking for. I looked at the tiny thumbnail photos posted with his profile – oh did I mention that this is a pay site, you can subscribe to the site and get full access to larger photos, and unlimited e-mails, etc…But I am cheap, and frankly don’t really think I should “Pay” for sex…so I’ve never subscribed.
I liked what I saw…which really wasn’t much. Anyways, I sent “Cheers” an instant message. We began to chat…the chatting went on for about an hour. We covered all the basics: What are you into? Top or Bottom? Where do you live? Etc…
“Cheers” lived on the Upper Eastside, so there was no way at this late hour that I was going anywhere. Now this is where it all gets fuzzy…it was late after-all. We somehow got on the topic of jobs. I offered up that I worked in television, but he refused to tell me what he did. He was afraid that I would laugh. So of course I asked…are you a hairdresser or florist? I was right, he was a hairdresser. Well not just a regular hairdresser, he did celebs at photo shoots and for special events. Oh and then get this he says turn on TLC…so I change the channel and well there he was. Right there, in my living room on my television screen. He was the hairstylist on this new make-over show.
Now this is where it gets all sitcom like. Not only is it ironic that the guy I am cyber-sexing with online is on TV, he is making over a woman who I know – one of my back-up singers from the single I recorded years ago. Small world or what? Well the laughs didn’t stop there. Now that I had a full name, I started searching for him online – I love Google and Yahoo. It turns out, in a past life he was also a fitness instructor for the same gym that I was an instructor for. We knew all the same people…so why had our paths never crossed?
At this point I was ready for bed. And so we decided that perhaps we should meet for coffee the next day. So I asked for his number. He gave it to me, and so I called, just to make sure it was really his number. It was!
So now it was 4am and I was on the line with my handsome Brit. I am a sucker for a British accent, I mean a Brit could tell me to Fuck Off and Die, and as long as the accent was present, I’d just roll over and die…
We talked like two school girls on the phone until 6am. Neither of us wanted to get off the phone first (are you about to vomit?) Finally, we got off the phone. We left it that we would get together the next day for coffee at around 6pm.
Flash forward to Saturday afternoon. I get a call from him and unfortunately he had to schedule a client at 6pm. So our coffee would have to be postponed till the next day as I was going to a party with some friends at 8pm and there wouldn’t be enough time. He suggested we do dinner. I thought what a splendid idea.
I sent him a text message later that night saying I was headed home, because I was tired from being on the phone late with him the night before. And that I was looking forward to dinner the next night.
Sunday morning I wake up and head for the laundry mat, and then later off to the gym. It is now 2pm and no word from my internet lover. I decided to call him, just to reconfirm our date. I get his voicemail, so I leave a message saying I was looking forward to our date later in the evening.
It’s now 6pm and I pretty much figure I am being stood up. I am kind of baffled, what did I do? Did I come on too strong? And then it hits me, we met on Manhut, he wasn’t looking for a boyfriends he was looking to get laid!
Two days later I logged back onto Manhunt, mostly out of morbid curiosity, and found that his profile had been deleted. Only in New York Kids Only in New York!
posted by Pablo Perez at 12:22 AM
1 comments
