Thursday, September 29, 2005

"She's Going For Beyonce, But Looks Like RuPaul"

I love me some ANTM (America's Next Top Model, for those of you not in the know). Last nights show was the fun filled "Make-over episode."

My favorite highlights from the show:
1) What Ms. J says about Coryn's photo, "She's Going For Beyonce, but looks like RuPaul.”
2) An appearance by James St. James, does anyone in America know who is besides me? (If not check out the scary documentary "Party Monster".
3) Cassandra crying about her long pageant hair being chopped off!
4) Good Bye to Ebony, seriously the girl was not cute. Remember Ms. J says, "Hair in the face is for ugly girls!"

It appears that Ms. J has replaced Janice Dickinson as the new snarky judge. Good thing, cause Ms. Twiggy isn’t cutting it.

If you missed last night’s show, check it out when it repeats next Tuesday night on UPN.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Pablo and the Three Bears: A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time in a magical city called Man-Hattan, a handsome young man named Pablo got lost in the urban jungle while searching for a new mate. To help find his way, Pablo stopped at an Internet Cafe to surf the Web. While online, he met a nice man who offered to help. Internet Bear was a wordsmith and knew all the right things to say. The two men agreed to meet for coffee in hopes of making a love connection. Pablo feared that this witty and charming bear might not be as dynamic in person as he was on the web. He was wrong! Internet Bear was funny, dynamic and they shared several common interests. The only problem was that there was no physical connection. Internet Bear was handsome, but Pablo did not want to leap across the table into his arms. The two parted ways with a promise to meet again one day.

Feeling dejected Pablo walked the streets until he stumbled upon a bar. Pablo walked up to the bar and ordered a drink. Next to him was a tall, dark and handsome stranger. They exchanged glances and finally Pablo broke the ice and said "Hello!" "G-day Mate," the stranger, replied. After an hour of talking, Pablo found out that this mysterious man was from Australia, but had just recently moved to Man-Hattan. The two immediately connected. The shared common interests, loves and fears. The physical connection was incredible as the two could not keep there hands off each other. As the night drew to a close, Pablo asked Aussie Bear if he could get his number. Aussie Bear hesitated, and then divulged that he was already committed to Greek Bear and really should not be carrying on this way.

Devastated, Pablo left the bar and curled up on a nearby bench to take a nap. The next morning, he knew he should find a store and buy some new clothes and perhaps some products to protect his skin from the harsh urban climate. He found his way to a department store, and bought a new outfit (jeans and black T-shirt).

Dressed for the hunt, Pablo headed to the cosmetics counter to buy some moisturizer, even when you’re lost, good skincare is important - premature again is not cute. While at the counter, Pablo locked eyes with the most handsome man in the land. He was hot! It is worth repeating - He was hot! He had Salt & Pepper hair, an amazing smile, a muscled body and a hairy chest. He was so Pablo's type! Cosmetics Bear was attracted to Pablo as well. As the two discussed skincare, they managed to flirt, laugh and connect. Cosmetics Bear was getting off of work shortly, and asked Pablo if he would like to go to dinner. Pablo had been lost for several days, and had only had drinks the night before so he was starving.

They left the store and headed for an Indian Restaurant. The two men were obviously attracted to one another, the smolder stares were a dead give-a-way. But Pablo was cautious from his last encounter with Aussie Bear and didn’t act on his impulses - despite how badly he wanted to jump over the table and take Cosmetics Bear right there on the table, he resisted. The two discussed everything from taste in music to leisure time activities as well as many other "getting to know you topics". Unfortunately, despite the strong physical connection, it appeared that the two had nothing in common what so ever. This worried Pablo, because he had dated someone like this before and it didn't last more than a year -- the lack of things in common eventually tore them apart. They kissed goodnight (and oh what a kiss it was) and promised to meet again one day.

Pablo was confused and felt so alone. All he wanted was to find the right Bear, but Internet Bear was too lumpy, Aussie Bear was unavailable and Cosmetics Bear was too different. No one was just right...what was Pablo to do??? He felt that he would be single forever, and lost in the streets of Man-Hattan.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

TV Worth Watching

Is it me, or is television the best thing ever invented? Ok, maybe a few other things top the best things ever list, but TV is certainly up there on the list.

Monday night (last night), marked the return of two of my favorite TV shows on NBC. Las Vegas and Medium.

Las Vegas is a well-produced show and it has something for everyone. It not only stars James Caan (who I did a movie with in 1998, Mickey Blue Eyes) as well as a host of other talented actors (Josh Duhamel, Molly Sims, Nikki Cox). It is both dramatic and funny as well as entertaining. It has T&A (for the guys) and each week the gang solves a new mystery. The show is shot with very quick, slick camera movements and captures the pulse of Vegas!

Medium stars Emmy winner Patricia Arquette, as Allison Dubois. Last night's episode kicked of the new season, picking up where it left of on last seasons cliffhanger. The character/story lines are loosely based on a real medium (she can see dead people!). This show has a lot to offer as well. It is a family/relationship drama, and has the mystery-solving element as well.

Shout outs, also go to Fox's Arrested Development (which I never really liked, but last nights episode was damn funny) and Kitchen Confidential (which stars hunky Bradley Cooper). I'll have to watch again next week to see if these show will hold my attention.

What did you watch last night?

Friday, September 16, 2005

"Top Model” Diva, but my name ain’t Eva!"

Mark your calendars for Wednesday, Sept. 21, 2005 at 8pm, when UPN airs the two-hour premier of the new season of America’s Next Top Model.

I can hardly believe that they are already up to Cycle 5 (a fancy way of saying season 5, props to the marketing maven who came up with that one).

before last season began, I visited the website and picked my ponies, solely based on the pictures. My first pick, Brittany, turned out to be as fierce as her photos, but did not take the title (she had a bit of a drinking problem - and who doesn't). My second pick Naima, did take home the title – you go girl!

This season has a big change that I am not sure I am ready for. Janice Dickinson (America’s first Super Model) was the Simon Cowel of ANTM. I waited each week to hear her spew out words of wisdom and wickedly funny critiques. However, Janice has been replaced by Twiggy. Perhaps it's an attempt to attract and older audience? My personal feeling is that Tyra was miffed with Janice for appearing on VH1’s The Surreal Life, as she mentioned in an article that she was very disappointed that Adrianne Curry’s (America's Next Top Model appears on the previous season of the show. Depending on how the first episode turns out, I might have to stage a boycott. Maybe even do a line of Save Janice T-shirts?

I’ve only seen the trailers, so my forthcoming opinions are solely based on what I can see in the pictures on the website. My computer doesn’t support the Real One Files, so I can’t see the audition tapes either. So Here goes.

My picks for this season are Kyle in the top spot and Bre with a close second. I strongly believe that the slut, pin-up, show-ho award will go to Lisa. And the ice princess of this season looks to be Sarah. Let’s hope that a picture is worth a thousand words, and that my predictions are dead on.

One final note, the show was filmed in LA, again…bring it back to NYC!! But this means that the girls were hulled up in a fabulous house in the hills. The Infiniti pool in the backyard is a sign of good times to come! Let’s not forget that last time a water element was involved (Shandi, Shandi, Shandi – You dog!).

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Mad Magazine(s)

So I would be remiss if I didn't comment on the current state of magazines today. Can someone please tell me 'What’s going on?'

For starters, why is Paris Hilton on the cover of Vanity Fair? I am surprised that they have sunk so low as to put that media whore on the cover, topless to boot! She is ugly and an ugly human being. What is she famous for again? I would like to send an open letter to my friends at Vanity Fair (and you know who you are):

Dear Editors,

What are you thinking? Why downgrade yourself like this?

Best wishes,
Pablo

Now onto Mrs. Britney Spears Federline, why on earth is she on the cover of Elle?
A) The outfit is ridiculous
B) What is up with her hair? It's a wig right?
I mean Elle is a leading fashion/beauty magazine, why on earth would they think that she was a good fit for the cover? She looks all kinds of crazy. Perhaps the masses will buy this issue. I'll report back on the newsstand sales once they become available.

Last but not least. I have officially decided to cancel my subscription to Out magazine. This is partly because they didn't hire me for a PR position (yes I am bitter, but the Dir. of Marketing was an Ass - his loss really). My second reason is because I am tired of seeing straight people on the cover. I love my straight friends – a big shout out to the straights. I know it is really the entertainment industry's fault for casting straight people in gay rolls. So I understand why they make the cover, but could the editors please try a little harder to put interesting queers on the cover.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Conversations from a Mall (aka online)

Pablo> Are we ever gonna really meet...or is it more fun to have missed connections

Truetalent> it is always more fun to meet and get naked

Pablo> so true. you tell me when.

Truetalent> i'll do. has to be a little earlier than this though

Pablo> if you want, e-mail me at xxxx and we can plan a play date...
ball, your court, take a shot.

Truetalent> i am not good at that planning thing. I just try to jump on here find someone to come over and then fuck

Pablo> Well there u have it...maybe one day the stars will align. I am sure you don't have problems finding someone for fucking

Truetalent> actually i do

Pablo>i am sure they find you...its just maybe you don't find what you want?

Truetalent> i don’t know what it is. I just know it is hard

Pablo> i am sure it is HARD -- couldn't resist, you set me up for it!

Truetalent>lol

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

"Do Anyone in America Know What Frim-fram Sauce Is?"

My good friends will recognize that quote from American Idol season one. Our favorite reject Tam-i-ka was called back to serve as a special commentator. One might wonder where is she now? Well at least I do.

I know its been a while since I blogged...frankly I’m not 100% sure anyone really reads this. To test this theory, I think it is time to have a Peter Pan moment. In the stage version of the show, the audience must clap to help Tinker Bell get back her strength and ability to fly. In that vein, if you want me to keep posting you'll have to respond with encouraging comments. Yes, Virginia I need affirmation from my public to continue on.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. The "Job Crisis" is still just that as far as I am concerned. I repeatedly ask myself - "How did this happen?" The practical folks out there will be happy to know that I still have a job, not 100% sure what I'll be doing, but I am safe for now. Never the less I am still not happy.

As far as love is concerned, all I have to say is "Will I ever learn?" And the resounding answer is "No!" Seriously, if I did learn, I wouldn't have my funny (yet tragic) tales of my one-night stands from hell, relationships that linger long after the expiration date and unrequited loves.

Is it truly my place on this earth to make others laugh? At this point I can only laugh at my misfortunes. My critiques, and you know who you are, keep reminding me of all the things I have to be thankful for...but can I please get a shout out from my friends in the Pessimistic Posse? The glass is always half empty in my world.

As I said, please send your happy thoughts, claps and comments...I am needy and need to feel the love.

The best is yet to come. I promise!