SOHO House

The following questions are from page 5(out of 6) of the application for membership at SOHO House. How would you answer these? Remember your acceptance to this exclusive members-only club is based on your answers! Gotta love NYC.

1. What is your favorite bar?
2. What is your favorite restaurant?
3. What is your favorite hotel?
4. What makes you laugh? (10 words or fewer)
5. How do you think your friends would describe you? (25 words or fewer)

My answers:

1. Eagle NYC
2. Tie between Food Bar(I love the French Fries) and The Ear Inn (The huge bucket of muscles for $5.95!)
3. SOHO House (Do I get extra points for sucking up?)
4. Two words: This application! (Is sarcasm bad?)
5. Pablo is articulate, charming, clean, creative, friendly, funny, handsome, happy, intelligent, personable, snarky, successful, well dressed, well groomed, and witty.

Summer Time

I am not trying to rush the season – cause I love me some Spring – but I just wanted to put out advanced notice of my summer wish list:

1) I would like to enjoy a few weekends poolside on Fire Island. I would prefer a house with a view of the bay. The sunsets are gorgeous. But beggars cannot be choosers.
2) I would like passes to enjoy the rooftop pool at the SOHO House. I will gladly buy the libations if you hook me up.
3) Before I can do the items mentioned above, I need to first find a rockin’ bathing suit – a white or black square cut. I borrowed this hot D&G suit from a friend last summer; perhaps I’ll find one of my own.
4) I would like a healthy tan. I don’t want another Brazil experience.
5) I want a new job at a company that does Summer Fridays. Not those lame half-day Fridays where if you pick up the phone after 12pm you are pretty much stuck in the office till 5pm. I’ll settle for at least every other Friday off.

Please let me know if you can make any of these wishes come true.

How Many Licks Does It Take?

I know for a fact that I have little or no patience for anything. For instance, I can't stand getting stuck behind slow people. And today those kind of people were everywhere - on the street, in the subway and at my office...ugh!

Another problem that is a byproduct of my “deficiency” is that I can't suck on hard candies or lollipops. I sat here today contemplating the old adage "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop!" After about 10 licks and maybe 2 minutes of sucking, I just gave up and did what I always do - I bit into the damn thing.

Apparently as the wise Owl says, "The World may never know!"

What does this mean about me?

Secret: Strong Enough For A Man, But Made For a Woman

One of the weekly challenges, on Cycle 5 (last season) of America’s Next Top Model, was to shoot a commercial for Secret. Each one of the girls had to personalize the commercial by revealing their own secrets. True to Reality TV form, a catfight broke out because Jayla stole Nik’s secret – she was afraid of the dark and sleeps with a night-light.

Well by now, I am sure that everyone has seen the real commercials that were produced. You just gotta love that fabulous tag line – “What’s My Secret?”

I thought it would be fun to poses this question to myself, so here goes:

1. What’s My Secret? I hate my job and my co-workers. (Ok this is nothing new; ya’ll new that already!)
2. What’s My Secret? I sing and dance in front of the mirror while lip-syncing to bubblegum pop. (Again, is that really much of a surprise, let alone a secret?)
3. What’s My Secret? I love hairy, masculine, muscle men! (Nope, not a secret, but I won’t tell you who I have a secret crush on…)
4. What’s My Secret? I have a nipple piercing. (Of course it hurt, it was a sharp needle being thrust through my flesh!)
5. What’s My Secret? I really want a cool star tattoo on my back (unfortunately, I am too chicken to get it done)

Ok, enough about me, now it’s your turn. “What’s Your Secret?”

What Not To Wear

I am by no means a fashion plate. In fact, I dress in the same “uniform” everyday as I head to work: Black flat-front trousers, a black button down shirt and black square-toed shoes. While my wardrobe is limited, there are a few items that that I can’t stand to see anyone wear.

Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star Sneakers


It really sucks when I see a hot guy and as I give him the once over, and I make it down to his shoe selection and see that he is wearing a pair of Converse sneakers.

They are the worst looking, fitting show in the world. People think they are being all cool and retro by wearing a sneaker from the early 1900’s – but they are seriously doing their feet a disservice by wearing them. These sneakers offer little support for the ankle and foot. And frankly they are like walking around bare foot.


Peg-Legged Pants

Pants are not meant to have tapered legs. This horrible fashion craze from the 1980’s is making its way back to the runway and stores. I much prefer a boot cut, that is fitted in the ass and thigh and flares out to a modest boot cut (not a crazy bellbottom – the 1970’s were not to pretty either).


Pleated Pants

While I am on pants, I must point out that pleated pants are also dreadful. If you are tall and thin, pleated pants are just not flattering and dangerous – if you get caught in a strong gust of wind, the air can get caught in the flaps and you could take off. And if you are fat, well do you really need all that extra fabric – enough said.

A Dear Pablo Letter, From the Girlfriend I Never Knew I Had

So yesterday I read an interesting article in Sirens, a new online chick magazine. It was about a phenomenon known as the Fag/Hag Relationship (AKA Will & Grace Syndrome). For some reason this article really hit home. No, I wasn’t just relating to the article because it was well written and talked about a situation close to my heart – the damn article is actually about Me, personally! Mind you, it is based on me, and a bit embellished – she didn’t get all "James Frey" on us, just some poetic license.

It is funny how that until I saw it in print, I never realized how dysfunctional my relationship with my “Fairy Princess*” was.

*I don’t like the term fag hag. I surround myself with beautiful people (I am not that shallow, inner beauty counts, too.) For me the term “Hag” conjures up images of girls with low self-esteem (whether skinny or fat, short or tall), and I don’t like to be around that.

I never considered my gal pal anything more than that. She was Nicole to my Paris, the jelly to my peanut butter – you get the picture. In fact, we tried to start a campaign to become the next “It” couple (Move over Olsen Twins). But our dreams were dashed when outside a screening of The Cat in The Hat we stopped to pose for the paparazzi and the flash bulbs suddenly stopped. How dare they, didn’t they know who we were? They weren’t there for us; they wanted to get pictures of Uma Thurman and her kids.

I will admit, as the article points out, there were moments when we crossed a few lines of the “relationship” – Be it friends or lovers. But I would never have thought that what we had was any more dysfunctional than the other friendships I have with other woman or men for that matter.

My main problem with the article is that it is a precautionary tale for the women. After all, Sirens is a magazine for the ladies. But you know who really gets hurt in the Fairy Princess/Gay Guy relationship, the gays! Cause in the end, the girl gets the guy, the house, and the kids. Not that I personally want any of that, but I wish I at least had the option (vote yes on legalizing same sex marriage).

It is so sad that when a girl settles down, and has babies she expects everyone else to jump up and down and scream hurray. Meanwhile, we end up losing our pals and are forced to care about the little ones that they pump out. Fine, things change. I am ok with that, but I still think you should have a balanced life and not cut those friends out who knew you when…I am just saying is all.

So now I’ve really gotten away from the topic of the article, but this is after all my blog and I can ramble if I want to.

No hard feelings to my lady friend. In fact she’ll be in town tomorrow and is my date for an opening at the Museum of Sex. There will be lots of inappropriate touching, and she better be wearing high-heels and a low cut blouse – that’s right Girl, you better turn it out for me!

Back to Front Page!

My Blogging is Like My Bowel Movements, Irregular!

They Come From A Land Down Under

It occurs to me that because I constantly strive to be perfect, and not just post non-sense on here, I will often go weeks with out posting. I mentioned to Rey today, that I had not posted in a while cause I was tired of my own self-deprecating humor. Seriously, my attitude about life needs some adjusting – and making light of myself, really isn’t helping. But I have to admit it has made for some funny posts, right?

“So then what do I write about?” - I’ve wonder to myself. Is it better to write about nothing, than to never have written at all?

One suggestion Rey made was to post the soundtrack to my life. Anyone who knows me well knows that Music (Makes the People Come Together) is very important to me.

Thank you Apple for inventing the I-pod shuffle. This pocket-sized bundle of joy makes it easy for me to transport about 150 of my favorite songs – thus keeping a soundtrack to my life always at hand.

My song selection varies from month to month, hell from minute to minute. I have OCD when it comes to new music. I’ll play a CD to death; I think I have actually scratched some CD’s from over use (can you do that?)!

Currently, Delta Goodrem is providing part of the soundtrack to my life. She is a #1 selling pop star in Australia. Thanks to my neighbor, I have discovered her music. Currently, she is living in NYC right now recording an album for release in the US – I must meet her. I am so looking forward to its release later this year. One song in particular, “Fragile” has been getting heavy rotation.

As if one Australian Pop star isn’t enough, I am also hooked on Vanessa Amorosi. Her albums came out about 4 years ago. But again, thanks to the same neighbor, I am just discovering her music as well. I love, love, love both albums that I recently added to my collection. She is just fun and poppy…just the way music is meant to be.

The last stop on my musical journey to Australia is Guy Sebastian – the 1st Australian Idol. I fell in love with his single “All I Need Is You” way back when it came out, but just recently acquired it for my collection.

All this talk about Australia makes me think about two men who passed through my life. Aussie Man One and Aussie Man Two. Both men hold special places in my heart…although I could never really be with either. Number one live in NYC, but he is in a 6-year relationship, and number two lives in Australia – we met while he was inNYC on holiday last fall.