Dating Karma 101

I don’t know what it was, but two weeks back I was a Man Magnet. Seriously, these hot guys were coming up to me on the street and asking for my number. I am not being self-depreciating here (for once), but honestly hot guys just don’t throw themselves at me like that. The scene of two of the crimes was 7th Avenue in Chelsea, another was on the dance floor at the Roxy and the last was at a stoplight on 10th Avenue and 28th Street.

The first guy from 7th Avenue, “Puerto Rican”, called the very next day. We had a brief conversation. Then he was blunt and asked the all important question…Top or Bottom? We’re both tops…needless to say, he hasn’t called again.

“Roxy” sent me a text message the same night we met. He was all sappy about meeting me and how he would have pleasant dreams, dreaming of my kisses. I agreed to see him again. We went to dinner and a play and then on another date - a walk in central park and a nice dinner. Shortly there after, a college friend of his came into town, he desperately wanted me to meet her... we’ve been on two dates…and he’s already picking out the china pattern. Red flag!

“Stoplight” and I went one our first date, the same night we met. We had a lovely dinner where we talked about life and the artistic process. We made plans to go see an art exhibit together, but he flaked out and didn’t call me until 2pm the day of our plans - ten minutes after I had just made plans with “Roxy” (the central park date). He then said “I’ll call you later and we’ll make plans for tomorrow”. Sunday came and went and no call (surprise, surprise). Two days later a text message arrived: “Opps…I forgot to call you!” – No kidding flakey mc corn flake! We finally met up the following weekend, a nice walk down by the river, dinner and coffee. This “date” lasted 4 hours, but I couldn’t tell if it was a really a date. He wasn’t very touchy feely…so I wasn’t sure if he was into me or not.

I met the second guy from 7th Avenue, “Brazilian”, right after the 4 hour date with “Stoplight”. I was on the phone trying to decide what to do with myself -- go home or go out. On my way down 7th Avenue I passed by “Brazilian”, he smiled and waved, I thought to myself “Do I know him?” I waved back, but I was on my phone making plans so I didn’t stop. After my conversation ended, I turned around and walked passed him a second time. At first I thought it was “Puerto Rican”, but then realized it wasn’t. The guy said he’s seen me around for years, and has always wanted to say hello. Here was this really hot, buff, Brazilian guy saying this too little ole me. So in true NYC style, we ended up at a diner with his friend, then my pal joined us and we all went out to a club. “Brazilian” and I made-out for most of the night, he was very “hands on” and passionate, very different than “Stoplight”, who only a few hours before had me wondering if I was even remotely attractive. “Brazilian” left me with my pal at the club and gave me his number. Now as much as I love a hot Brazilian guy, I don’t do people who are here illegally – so I haven’t called him.

I am now just dealing with “Stoplight”, who was being all kinds of flakey and “Roxy”, who was becoming a bit of a stalker. I had a date Thursday with “Roxy”, we went to a nice little NYC café and had homemade gelato (a place I’d seen featured on a Food Network TV show). It was during this date that I realized I was not interested in going any further with this “relationship” – three dates in is a good amount of time to decide whether someone is either “In or Out” (thank you Heidi Klum). On Friday I went out for coffee with “Stoplight” and after a few cups of coffee we walked around aimlessly in the streets. Neither of us could figure out what to do or where to go. He was tired so we decide to just part ways for the night. His last words were “Would you like to come with me tomorrow night to hang out with some friends?” I said yes, he said “I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know the plans.”

Here is where the lesson in Karma comes into place…Today is Thursday, and I still have not heard from “Stoplight” perhaps he realized after three dates that he didn’t like me either. “Roxy” picked up on my vibe and e-mailed me an interesting note saying “I get the feeling your not interested.” Perhaps it was obvious since I didn’t return an e-mail from yesterday, where he offered to make me dinner at his place. So while I was dumped but the one I was interested in, I was doing the same thing to the other.

Oddly enough my co-worker is actually going through a similar situation right now…she is dating multiple guys, but needs to break it off with two of them as she has fallen hard for one of the guys. I said we should probably send the guys notes along the lines of this:

Dear Guy:

Have you seen Shannen Doherty’s new show on Oxygen - “Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty”? Let’s save ourselves the humiliation. Need I say more?

Best,
Pablo

Ugh…why is dating so hard. And where is my prince charming?

And So It Begins

The fall television season has begun and so starts my addiction to the moving picture box. Perhaps I should check into the Liza or Whitney suite at Betty Ford.

Tonight's line includes the two hour premier of America's Next Top Model, Cycle 7. I thought that it would be followed by Project Runway (where they reveal the final three designers who will show at NY Fashion Week) Opps my bad they are keeping us waiting until next week!

The first installments of the "My Life as a Cover Girl" commercials are really boring. Tyra should get her money back, because Danielle - aka "Dani" - still doesn't know how to talk and lacks a personality. Joni would have been so much better!

As for as this Cycle is concerned, I have already picked my ponies: A.J. (hot photos but why is she so insecure?) and Megan (rock the short hair - will they give her extensions next week?). And maybe CariDee - she had a good picture.

The bitch in the house is Monique (hopefully someone will knock her down a few pegs). And what's up with Megg - she is so loud and obnoxious.

I love a pretty Indian girl, but Anchal isn’t her (She doesn't think she is beautiful and neither do I!) And the twins are just scary looking! Bulimia and Anorexic, good call Mr. J.!

Here it is 1 hour and 30 minutes into the show and only one quick shot of my husband Nigel. And seriously where is Janice Dickinson?

Tyra Banks should pitch a new show called "Bad Actress", cause Grrlll what was that crazy diva act you did?

Quick message to the CW Network: Rachel Perry is annoying on VH1, what made you think she'd be any better on your CWH segments? Oh and props to fellow blogger Perez Hilton for his cameo. Hey we share a name...maybe he can hook me up with a guest spot!

I feel like I've only said mean things thus far...so I guess I should say something nice. Um...I can't think of anything...Oh wait here is one "Nigel is Hot!".

New Prizes: Elite Models (Ford is out), Seventeen Magazine Cover (no more Elle and Gil Bensimone?) and the old standby a contract with Covergirl. Who will be America's Next Top Model???

Long Time No Speak

As usual, life sometimes gets in the way of me blogging. Why is that? This should be the most important thing in my life, right?

So here is what's happening, or not happening in my life:

LOVE LIFE
I've met a few new boys. Ok they are all men (aged 37-46). Why is it that I am a sucker for the old guys? Please Mr. Therapist, tell me why? I have a great relationship with my dad, so I am not looking for a "father" figure. I really don't seek out the elder-gays. Really, I don't! I always hope that the hot Salt & Pepper hair is attached to some young guy who went prematurely grey. Alas, that is never the case.

So the current guys on the menu include a former Buddhist, an artist/designer and a hot Latino I met on the street. Here's the low down: The Buddhist is in love with me after only two dates (which totally turns me off), the artist is as flakey as a croissant and the Latino guy is a top and we know that Two tops do not make a bottom (I think that is in the laws of physics!). Needless to say, I am all hot for the flakey artist. Why? Cause I obviously love a good chase, and ultimately don’t have any self-respect.

MY CAREER
My work life has me all a flutter(big surprise, I know!). I am hoping that the new moon on Sept. 22 will change the tides and bring me that new job that’s been alluding me for the past two years.

I have come to grips with the fact that it’s really just me. I obviously don't want to work at all, and have set up my own road blocks in getting ahead in life. All I know is that staying here is killing me inside -- I am like a wild horse whose spirit has been broken by a mean trainer.

Today is payday, as always, I wish it were more, but have no right to actually complain. I just ask that everyone keep an ear to the ground. You know what I want to do for a living...one of you must know someone who can help me! Please!

MY FAMILY
I think they are about to disown me. And I can't say I blame them. The stork should give my folks a refund, because they got a lame child. It's not that I don't love my family. I just don't enjoy visiting my hometown or spending long periods of time with my family. I keep in touch with them on the phone, regularly. I just wish they lived closer. That way I could drop in for dinner and then go home, vs. having to spend 3-4 days at their house. We get bored with each other after the first night, and then start arguing about silly stuff for the rest of the visit. Ugh.

FUN STUFF
This week was Fashion Week in NYC and unfortunately another season goes by and I still wasn’t unable to land a seat in the tents. I really would have enjoyed going to the Project Runway finalist shows held this morning at 9am. But beggars can’t be choosers, so I would have gone to anything.

On a final and positive note, I have an out of town guest staying with me this weekend. I am looking forward to hanging out with her and our other friend for the next two days.

So that’s the scoop, thanks for traveling on this journey that is my Vida Loca.